Random things I will bark at today:

-red throw pillows
-anybody named Phil
-tube socks
-the kid next door practicing his clarinet
-anything with a shadow


Tomorrow's schedule:

I will chase him from 9-12 pm:

I will chase him 12 - 3 pm:

I will chase him 3-5 pm.


If that Dog Whisperer spoke a little louder, I might be able to hear what he was saying.

Things I will beg for today:

A Cherry Pop-Tart
Some mushroom soup, even though I hate mushrooms
Salami, thin sliced
That cheese wedge on the top shelf of the fridge
Another Cherry Pop-Tart
Oyster crackers


Was Toto really the right dog for Dorothy?

Here's what I would have done: Chase that stupid Wicked Witch up a tree, chew her stupid broomstick in half, bite those flying monkeys, and then get us back to Kansas in 5 minutes flat. That's what a dog does for its owner. I'm just sayin'.

Another picture of my invisible fence:

A headline you will NEVER see: